To survive a zombie apocalypse in real life, you’ll need to learn everything you can about the outbreak, fortify your current location, gather willing friends or allies, collect supplies, and lastly, escape to safe zones like mountains and islands. Of course, this is the simplified answer.
Read on for an in-depth understanding of the steps you must follow to survive a zombie apocalypse in real life.
While scouring the internet trying to learn everything I could about surviving zombie apocalypses, I came across a scientific study I’m confident you’ll find interesting.
According to the estimate carried out by physics students at Leicester University, if a contagious zombie outbreak were to strike today, it’d take just 100 days for humans to be outnumbered by the zombies a million to one.
Even worse, the study estimated that only 300 humans would be left alive after three months and then concluded that the chances of this number repopulating the planet before getting eaten or infected first would be slim to none.
I know this is a grim prediction, but the good news is it has its faults. For instance, the study did not account for the fact that humans are extremely good at overcoming adversity and adapting. Needless to say, we’d get better at killing and escaping zombies, and we’ll learn pretty fast that the last place to hide from the zombies isn’t shopping centres.
In light of these concerns, the team redid its calculations and published a new report shortly afterwards. The new re-estimates concluded that it’d only take 2.7 years (or 1000 days) for humans to wipe out the zombies and another 25 years for the human population to slowly but surely start to recover.
So there you have it. Do you think you’d make it if a zombie apocalypse were to break out today?
How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse In Real Life
This guide on how to survive a zombie apocalypse in real life should help you figure that out:
Step 1: Assessment! Assessment! Assessment!
The first thing everyone should do in any disaster situation, not just a zombie apocalypse, is to find out what the fridge is happening. Call someone, listen to the radio, or turn on the TV. Basically, gather as much info as you possibly can.
While doing this, please cross your fingers and hope it’s an elaborate bluff. If your neighbor is the only one running naked up and down the streets screaming ZOMBIES, but you don’t hear or see anything else about it, it’s safe to presume your neighbor is either plain batshit crazy or just drunk like a fish.
The bottom line is that even if there is a zombie apocalypse in real life, you can’t identify a course of action until you gather all the facts and correct information.
Step 2: Pick Your First Weapon
If there, indeed, is a zombie apocalypse, you’ll need to leave your home right away for some protective gear. But remember, there is a zombie apocalypse, so if you accidentally come across a zombie while out and about, you’ll need the most BADASS and BIGGEST weapon.
I know you won’t be in the “zombie-killing mood just yet,” but it’s not like you have much of a choice if you want to survive a zombie apocalypse in real life. If you do not kill any unhuman that tries coming after you, it will kill you… no buts, ands, or ifs about it.
That said, note that not all weapons will work for everyone in a real-life zombie apocalypse. What’s worse? The trendiest zombie-killing armaments are not usually the most practical either. For instance, you’ll need to think thrice before picking up the giant hammer you have in mind.
While it’d be satisfying to crack in some Zombie skulls, swinging a giant hammer results in a sizable arc that’ll give the zombie lots of time to bite off your armpit. Instead, go for a machete, which is lightweight and will neatly separate zombies’ heads from their bodies.
I suggest going for the sawed-off shotgun most of us are so fond of for a ranged weapon.
Step 3: Protect Yourself
Using the weapons you just picked as protection, go off and find protective wear.
Since it’s still the initial stages of the real-life zombie apocalypse, you may not yet have an answer to what could have caused it. You’ll have to assume it’s probably due to some viral biochemical mishap.
As such, do everything you can to find a hazmat suit, gloves, and a respirator. If some of these aren’t available, just find anything you can use to cover yourself up. Also, while out for protective gear, grab all the antibacterial soap and sanitizers you can, and avoid touching anything.
Thanks to the covid pandemic, you already know how a virus works, so use your brain…. Lest you lose it (no pun intended!)
Step 4: Gather Willing Friends & Allies And Fortify
We have a saying in my native language: “If one person passes away, it’s a funeral, but if a multitude of people lose their lives, it’s a wedding.” I swear it makes more sense and sounds less sinister in Swahili.
Basically, the saying’s point is that there is a sense of normalcy when a lot of people are going through the same shitstorm you are. As such, ensuring other “live” people surround you will give you company while simultaneously keeping you sane.
If you’re already in a group, stay with it, and ensure you do not venture out by yourself. I know, going out by yourself improves your chances of staying invisible, but your safety also decreases when you’re by yourself. Plus, you’ll need more people for the next step, i.e. foraging for supplies.
Here’s an additional tip. While trying to survive a zombie apocalypse in real life, it’s safe to assume that zombies will still have their nasty habit of crashing through windows. With that in mind, you and your friends should pick hideouts with as few ground-level windows as possible. Stay away from any large warehouse, Sam’s Club, BJs, and boutique outlets in favor of Costco.
Step 5: Forage For Supplies and Transportation Means
I know what you may be wondering; “WHY HAVEN’T WE ESCAPED TO SAFETY ALREADY.” I’ll tell you why in the next step.
After gathering friends and fortifying in your current locale for a while, it’s time to scavenge for supplies and a means of transport as you prepare for the last step on how to survive a zombie apocalypse in real life. This is probably the only chance you’ll get to gather supplies in a long while, so ensure you get everything you may need to survive until things get back to normal-ish.
Some things you should ensure you get include:
- Solar or inverter chargers
- Cell phones
- Cell phone chargers
- Local maps
- Manual can opener for food
- Pliers and wrench to turn off utilities
- Garbage bags, plastic ties, and moist towelettes for personal sanitation
- Dust mask to help filter contaminated air
- Duct tape
- A complete first-aid kit
- A flashlight and extra batteries
- Hand crank or battery-powered radio
- Phone numbers of people you’d like to get in touch with if the opportunity arises
- Important medications
- Cash (you may need this)
There are not enough words in this guide to create an exhaustive list of everything you should get to survive a zombie apocalypse in real life.
While scavenging for supplies, a small group should split off and try to find a means of transport. After all, you’ll need one to get to your next location and carry all the supplies you have with you. Note, though, that vehicles do have their own disadvantages in a zombie apocalypse.
First, they make lots of noise that may attract zombies. Second, they need gas, and if no gas station is in operation along the way where you’re headed, you’re pretty much toasted. So, if the number of supplies you have will need a vehicle to transport, ensure you stock up on sufficient gas to take you to your next destination.
Furthermore, ensure the cars you get are the most unstoppable options available. Cars that will effortlessly plow through hundreds of zombies when the need arises. To top it off, the vehicles should be well-lifted, strong, and without many windows.
And PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! If Jesse Eisenberg has taught us anything, it’s that you should always check the back seats before settling in a car.
Now we’re onto the last step on how to survive a zombie apocalypse in real life.
Step 5: Move Out To The Mountains
When you and your friend’s first learn that a zombie outbreak has hit the world, the last thing you should do is pack up and try leaving town. You’ll be inclined to do the opposite, but it’s paramount that you sit ducks.
Think about it. What will everybody else be doing after receiving the same news? They’ll be hitting the highway right away. That, my brethren, creates the perfect recipe for a zombie king buffet. Why? Well, because obviously, the traffic will be non-moving and backed up.
So, if you guys have sufficient supplies, your best bet will be to stay put, barricade yourselves, and transform your hideout into Fort Knox. When things die down a little bit (also, no pun intended), grab everything you’ve gathered and head for the hills. The goal is to find locations in sparsely populated areas in the mountains where zombie sightings are unlikely.
Also, simply because you’ve survived this long doesn’t guarantee you’re out of danger. A lot could happen while you guys pack up, head to your cars, and move out. So employ the 3 by 3 and Fine Line rules to stay safe during these processes.
The 3 by 3 rule dictates that at least three of you should stand with your backs together while moving out. This ensures you’re facing out in all directions, which minimizes your chances of falling victim to surprise attacks.
Once out in the streets, use the Fine Line strategy to fend off zombie hordes. This strategy involves forming two lines of armed people. The first line should be on the front side, while the other should follow at the back. The front line’s role is to shoot any zombies nearby while the back line holds. Once the front line runs out of ammunition, the back line then steps forward and allows the previously front line enough time to reload.
How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse In Real Life – Final Thoughts
Of course, surviving a zombie apocalypse in real life isn’t going to be easy. But if you stick to the tips above and keep an open mind (not literally), it should be a way easier road to go down in the long run.